· Interpersonal Communication

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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument

“Me about Me”

Instructions

Consider the situations in which you find your wishes differing from those of another person. How do you usually respond to such situations? On these two pages are several pairs of statements describing possible behavioral responses. For each pair, please circle the "A" or "B" statement which is most characteristic of your own behavior. In many cases, neither the “A” nor "B" statements may be typical of your behavior; but please select the response which you would be more likely to use.

1. A. There are times when I let the other person take responsibility for solving the

problem.

B. Rather than negotiate the things on which we disagree, I try to stress those

things upon which we both agree.

2. A, I try to find a compromise solution.

B. I attempt to deal with all of the other person’s and my concerns.

3. A. I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.

B. I might try to soothe the other person’s feelings and preserve our relationship.

4. A. I try to find a compromise solution.

B. I sometimes sacrifice my own wishes for the other person’s wishes.

5. A. I consistently seek the other person’s help in working out a solution.

B. I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.

6. A. I try to avoid creating unpleasantness for myself.

B. I try to win my position.

7. A. I try to postpone the issue until I have had some time to think it over.

B. I give up some points in exchange for others.

8. A. I am usually firm in pursing my goals.

B. I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

9. A. I think that differences are not always worth worrying about.

B. I make some effort to get my way.

10. A. I am firm in pursuing my goals.

B. I try to find a compromise solution.

11. A. I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

B. I might try to soothe the other person’s feelings and preserve our relationship.

12. A. I sometimes avoid taking positions which would create controversy.

B. I will let the other person have some of her/his positions if she/he lets me have

some of mine.

13. A. I propose a middle ground.

B. I press to get my points made.

14. A. I tell the other person my ideas and ask him/her for his/hers.

B. I try to show the other person the logic and benefits of my position.

· Interpersonal Communication

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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument

“Partner about Me”

Instructions

Consider the situations in which you find your wishes differing from those of ______. How does ______ usually respond to such situations? On these two pages are several pairs of statements describing possible behavioral responses. For each pair, please circle the "A" or "B" statement which is most characteristic of ______'s behavior. In many cases, neither the “A” nor "B" statements may be typical of ______'s behavior; but please select the response which ______ would be more likely to use.

1. A. There are times when ___ lets me take responsibility for solving the problem.

B. Rather than negotiate the things on which we disagree, ___ tries to stress those

things upon which we both agree.

2. A, ___ tries to find a compromise solution.

B. ___ attempts to deal with all of his/her and my concerns.

3. A. ___ is usually firm in pursuing her/his goals.

B. ___ might try to soothe my feelings and preserve our relationship.

4. A. ___ tries to find a compromise solution.

B. ___ sometimes sacrifices his/her own wishes for my wishes.

5. A. ___ consistently seeks my help in working out a solution.

B. ___ tries to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.

6. A. ___ tries to avoid creating unpleasantness for him/herself.

B. ___ tries to win her/his position.

7. A. ___ tries to postpone the issue until he/she has had some time to think it over.

B. ___ gives up some points in exchange for others.

8. A. ___ is usually firm in pursing her/his goals.

B. ___ attempts to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

9. A. ___ thinks that differences are not always worth worrying about.

B. ___ makes some effort to get his/her way.

10. A. ___ is firm in pursuing her/his goals.

B. ___ tries to find a compromise solution.

11. A. ___ attempts to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

B. ___ might try to soothe my feelings and preserve our relationship.

12. A. ___ sometimes avoids taking positions which would create controversy.

B. ___ will let me have some of my positions if I let him/her have some of his/hers.

13. A. ___ proposes a middle ground.

B. ___ presses to get her/his points made.

14. A. ___ tells me his/her ideas and asks me for mine.

B. ___ tries to show me the logic and benefits of her/his position.

15. A. ___ might try to soothe my feelings and preserve our relationship.

B. ___ tries to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.

Please go on to the other side of this page.

16. A. ___ tries not to hurt my feelings.

B. ___ tries to convince me of the merits of her/his position.

17. A. ___ is usually firm in pursuing his/her goals.

B. ___ tries to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.

18. A. If it makes me happy, ___ might let me maintain my views.

B. ___ will let me have some of my positions if I let ___ have some hers/his.

19. A. ___ attempts to get ail concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

B. ___ tries to postpone the issue until he/she has had some time to think it over.

20. A. ___ attempts to work through our differences immediately.

B. ___ tries to find a fair combination of gains and losses for both of us.

21. A. In approaching negotiations, ___ tries to be considerate of my wishes.

B. ___ always leans toward a direct discussion of the problem.

22. A. ___ tries to find a position that is intermediate between his/hers and mine.

B. ___ asserts her/his wishes.

23. A. ___ is very often concerned with satisfying all our wishes.

B. There are times when ___ lets me take responsibility for solving the problem.

24. A. If my position seemed very important to me, ___ would try to meet my wishes.

B. ___ tries to get me to settle for a compromise.

25. A. ___ tries to show me the logic and benefits of her/his position.

B. In approaching negotiations, ___ tries to be considerate of my wishes.

26. A. ___ proposes a middle ground.

B. ___ is nearly always concerned with satisfying all our wishes.

27. A. ___ sometimes avoids taking positions that would create controversy.

B. If it makes me happy, ___ might let me maintain my views.

28. A. ___ is usually firm in pursuing his/her goals.

B. ___ usually seeks my help in working out a solution.

29. A. ___ proposes a middle ground.

B. ___ thinks that differences are not always worth worrying about.

30. A. ___ tries not to hurt my feelings.

B. ___ always shares the problem with me so that we can work it out.

Thank you for participating!

· Interpersonal Communication

Conflict Styles Analysis

PRELIMINARIES:

Select a partner to do this activity with you, someone with whom you have an interpersonal relationship (friend, relative, romantic partner, roommate, etc.). Choose someone with whom you are willing to discuss your communicative behavior and who is willing to discuss such matters with you.

There are three handouts to print for each part of this activity.

PART I:

Step 1. Complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, “Me about Me,” in the context of your relationship with your partner.

Step 2. Your partner will complete the other Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, “Partner about Me.” (You can put your name in the blanks.) CAUTION: Your partner is NOT filling this out on him/herself; he/she is filling it out on YOU!

Step 3. Using the handout, Scoring the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, calculate your styles from your inventory “Me about Me” and your styles as perceived by your partner on “Partner about Me.”

Step 4. Discuss, with your partner, how you and your partner perceive your style similarly and differently. Would you like to change your conflict style in this relationship? Would your partner like you to change your conflict style?

PART II:

Repeat the four steps above, except this time your partner fills out “Me about Me” about him/herself and you fill out “Partner about Me” about your partner.

FINALE

What impact has this activity had on your relationship?

· Interpersonal Communication

Bonus Points Opportunity: Conflict Styles Analysis

Read these instructions carefully!

For this bonus you can receive a maximum of five or ten points. Part 1 is worth a maximum of five points, and can stand alone. If you do both 1 and 2, you can receive a maximum of ten points. You CANNOT submit Part 2 unless it is accompanied by Part 1.

You must follow instructions precisely. No credit is given if there is sloppy or missing work.

CAUTION: Remember, this activity is for purpose of self-exploration of communicative behavior. It is not a reliable diagnostic instrument or a valid psychological inventory.

DUE: Before or at the final exam, Tuesday, December 15, 2015, 1:00 p.m. No late submissions will be accepted.

PART 2 TABLE: “ABOUT PARTNER”

[Sample Cover Page]

CONFLICT STYLES ANALYSIS

Part 1 [or Parts 1 & 2]

by

Your Name Here, Upper and Lower Case

Comm 245 Interpersonal Communication

Date submitted