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Assignment,
Depression among Teenagers, Paper Outline
Student Name
Student Affiliation (For example Department + Institute Name)
Course Name and Number
Instructor Name
Date
Thesis, Introduction and Outline
Thesis Statement
Preliminary thesis: It is been shown that teenage depression has increased by 59% between 2007 and 2017, I believe the potential causes include dietary patterns, social media influence and high social and academic expectations. (Geiger, A., & Davis, L., 2020)
Revised statement: It has been shown that teenage depression has increased by 59% between 2007 and 2017. Potential causes for depression among teenagers include dietary patterns, social media influence, societal and academic pressures, and hormonal changes.
Introduction
Teenage depression has been a problem prevalent in our society for a long time and is recently gaining more and more attention. According to research, since 2007, it has increased by almost 60% and is on a constant rise (Bowes, 2015). Experts believe that the most common causes of depression in teenagers are their dietary patterns, social media influence, societal factors and their changing hormones. Unhealthy diets and habits such as fast food and smoking are prevalent in today’s youth and undoubtedly affects their mental health as well as physical health. Research reveals that the transition from middle school to high school and college correlates with high depressive symptoms as the academic load increases. Social media sometimes presents negative influence for teenagers, it may lower their self-esteem and impact their self-image. This research paper will be discussing the whys and wherefores of this matter and aims to deliver information to teenagers, parents and teachers alike on what causes it, how to spot it and how to treat it.
Outline
· The primary factor among these come from the victim’s environment as societal pressures. (Thapar, A. C., 2012, para. 4)
· academic stress
· financial problems
· adverse family conditions
· bullying and peer victimization
· Social media has become a big part in the lives of people today and has seemed to limit social interaction under the guise of increasing it. It is easy to be
· misled by what we see through our device screens
· manipulate how people view our life to be more perfect than it is
· Observational research conducted on young girls suggested that use of social media lead to body and life dissatisfaction among teenagers.
· Depression is associated with diet restrain or body dissatisfaction. (Johnson, F., & Wardle, J., 2005, para. 7)
· Hormonal change during puberty potentially cause more depressed teenagers
· Change in hormones in puberty promotes depression-related behaviours (Boivin, J. R., Piekarski, D. J., Wahlberg, J. K., & Wilbrecht, L., 2017, 4. Discussion)
· Research has proven that during puberty testosterone and estrogen levels rise dramatically, which make teenagers vulnerable to depression (DiMaria, 2020).
References Boivin, J. R., Piekarski, D. J., Wahlberg, J. K., & Wilbrecht, L. (2017). Age, sex, and gonadal hormones differently influence anxiety- and depression-related behavior during puberty in mice. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 85, 78-87. doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2017.08.009 Bowes, L. J. (2015). Peer victimization during adolescence and its impact on depression in early adulthood: Prospective cohort study in the United Kingdom. . BMJ: British Medical Journal, 350. DiMaria, L. (2020). Depression during Puberty. Retrieved from Verywellmind.com.: https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-during-puberty-1067561 Johnson, F., & Wardle, J. (2005). Dietary restraint, body dissatisfaction, and psychological distress: A prospective analysis. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 114(1), 119-125. doi:10.1037/0021-843X.114.1.119 Thapar, A. C. (2012). Depression in adolescence. Lancet (London, England),, 379(9820), 1056–1067.
READY, SET, ESSAY!
A Quick Guide to Introductions and Thesis Statements
Welcome to A Quick Guide to Introduction and Thesis Statements. Let's get started!
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READY, SET, ESSAY!
Do I want to keep talking to you?
Why am talking to you?
Who are you?
What am I supposed to do with this?
Why am I reading it?
What is this?
Writing follows the same idea.
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Let’s say you are at a party and you meet someone for the first time. Have you every heard the expression – “You don’t a second chance to make a first impression. Well, your introduction is your chance to make a good first impression with your reader. There are usually three things (maybe more, but we will focus on three) that you want to learn in a first impression:
Who are you?
Why am talking to you?
Do I want to keep talking to you?
Writing follows the same idea. When you start to read something, you are unconsciously looking for answers to:
What is this?
Why am I reading it?
What am I supposed to do with this?
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In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30). If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153). My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data. Beyond this limited audience, however, my argument should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of respect for Indigenous peoples. In this essay I will explain that one who claims Aboriginal ancestry, does not therefore have the right to claim Indigeneity.
Sample
A
A
Take a moment and read this introduction.
Passage: “In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30). If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153). My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data. Beyond this limited audience, however, my argument should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of respect for Indigenous peoples. In this essay I will explain that one who claims Aboriginal ancestry, does not therefore have the right to claim Indigeneity.”
Is this a good introduction? Let’s see, using the What is this
What is this? “In this essay I will explain that one who claims Aboriginal ancestry, does not therefore have the right to claim Indigeneity.”
Why am I reading it? ). In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous.
What do you want me to do? If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153).
This may be very familiar, because this introduction covered the mantra we recited at the beginning of this course. Audience, Context, Purpose.
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– Context
– Purpose
Audience
INTRODUCTORY SENTENCE
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OK, now it is time to remember our mantra. Audience Context Purpose. So you want to write an introduction… or in your case, you are being forced to write an introduction… I mean, let’s face it. It isn’t like you get together with your friends and say… “So what do you want to do… hey, I got an idea, let’s write an introduction to a research paper!” Anyway, when you need to write, remember what we talked about at the beginning of this course: Audience-Context-purpose. Consider your audience, provide them with the general background to your main topic and outline your purpose… with your thesis/claim… stating the position you will support and the evidence you will use.
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You can make it catchy, but be sure whatever statement you choose relates to your thesis
Please do not use definitions or quotations to start your essay.
It needs to be free of errors (first impressions count)
Your first sentence needs to reflect your topic
INTRODUCTORY SENTENCE
Now let’s take a look at the introductory sentence. Your first sentence needs to reflect your topic and it needs to be free of errors (remember, your first impression counts).
You can make it catchy, so long as it relates to your thesis
Never start with… The dictionary defines “BLANK” as… or a quotation… “Never start your essay with a quotation”, as Professor Lawrence says… Those are big no-no’s. Don’t do it.
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What makes the following a good introductory statement?
“In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous.”
Here is the opening sentence to our example introduction. Read this opening sentence and see if it meets the criteria that we set out.
Sentence: “In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous.”
Does it take into account the audience, context and purpose?
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“In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous.”
What makes the following a good introductory statement?
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It does, very well.
It reflects the overall topic of the essay, provides the context
“In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population…
It provides the purpose
Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous
And it grabs your attention based on the controversial nature of the statement.
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If your arguments help to clarify your thesis, then include them, briefly
The next few sentences need to deal with context and/or the good reasons for your thesis
Context is dependent on the subject you are covering, but you must always include it
Transitions are essential as well as brief examples to support your assertions
You can also include a “this essay will” statement
CONTEXT
After the opening sentence, comes the context. The next few sentences need to deal with context and/or the good reasons for your thesis.
Context is dependent on the subject you are covering and changes from one paper you write to the next… but you must always include it. Think back to being at the party I used at the beginning of this presentation. If you suddenly jump into a conversation and hear…. “And that is why I think we should all cover our heads in mayonnaise”… it will be very difficult to understand and appreciate the speakers argument the context of the discussion.
Context provides the background to your argument, bringing your reader up to speed on the event behind your argument.
If your arguments help to clarify your thesis, then include them, but briefly.
Transitions are very important to link idea to idea, sentence to sentence. Explain how the ideas or main points you are using are related.
You can also include a “this essay will” statement
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State why the main idea is important. Tell the reader why they should care about your topic and keep reading.
Set the context. Use general information about the main idea and explain the situation.
State your thesis/claim. A sentence or two that states the position you will support
CONTEXT
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Here’s how you want you approach your context. First. Set the context. You do this by providing general information about the main idea, explaining the situation so the reader can make sense of the topic and the claims you make and support.
Next, State why the main idea is important. Tell the reader why they should care about your topic and keep reading. Keep your audience in mind… create a compelling, clear, and convincing essay people will want to read and act upon
State your thesis/claim. Finally your introduction needs a sentence or two that states the position you will support “I am arguing for/against…”. Let’s go back to our introduction example and see all this in action.
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In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30). If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153). My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data. Beyond this limited audience, however, my argument should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of respect for Indigenous peoples. In this essay I will explain that one who claims Aboriginal ancestry, does not therefore have the right to claim Indigeneity.
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30). If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153). My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data. Beyond this limited audience, however, my argument should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of respect for Indigenous peoples.
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30). If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153). My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data.
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30). If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153).
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30).
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3). Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit).
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous. The 2016 results showed a colossal 42.5 per cent increase in Canadians identifying as Aboriginal since 2006 (Kirkup, 2017, para.3).
In light of recent census data released by Statistics Canada revealing a rise in the Indigenous population, Canadians and the census should reconsider who is Indigenous.
Sample
.
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Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups that constitute the Indigenous population (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit).
Note how the first sentence captures your attention, establishes the first part of the essay’s context. This sentence also hints at the coming argument of the paper. By saying that ‘Claiming Indigeneity on the Canadian census is as simple as circling one of the three groups’ the author implies a problem with the current situation.
However, accurate results are invaluable considering “census data ha[s] come to assume a fundamentally important role in the formation of policy decisions affecting all facets of the lives of Canadian citizens” (Anderson, 2008, para. 30).
And then, the next sentence starts with a linking word “however”, which not only links the ideas of the two sentences together, but also implies that the previous idea, that of simple circling one of three groups on the census, is an inaccurate and unsatisfactory way to gather data. The second sentence introduces some of the evidence the author has gathered to support the argument of the paper with this well integrated quote.
So far, the author has told us that claiming indigeneity is as easy as circling one of three groups on a census, and that this is an inadequate for of data gathering, the purpose for a census, and that indigeneity identity is not something that can be established by the circling of a choice three items.
The author has created a very interesting position and is now ready to set up their thesis.
If race is a social construct, then Canadians must understand that to be Indigenous is not a question of race, but instead a question of culture (Gaudry, 2016, p.153).
Here the author provides specific context to lead into the thesis. Note how the author uses a proposition to frame their argument. That is, an if-then statement. Example, if a three dimensional circle is a sphere; then the moon is a sphere. The author uses “If race is a social construct, then indigeneity is a question of culture”…
My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data.
The author transitions into further clarification of their thesis position.
Beyond this limited audience, however, my argument should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of respect for Indigenous peoples.
An interesting statement for the audience for the argument.
In this essay I will explain that one who claims Aboriginal ancestry, does not therefore have the right to claim Indigeneity
A final succinct, pithy thesis statement that gets to the point. Notice how the entire last three sentences encompasses the authors thesis.
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How to Write and Frame a Thesis
Examine your claim and ensure it makes an explicit (clear). Write a complete sentence (or two). Please do not use a question but instead, a declarative statement. Questions are often too broad. You need a well-developed claim.
Add in your reason for the claim.
If you have research, make note of where you might be able to reference particularly compelling proof in your thesis.
Show intros again and discuss thesis (give them
Here is some quick points on developing your thesis. For a more in-depth information review the Prof Moment Lesson Five – The Thesis Statement.
Examine your claim and ensure it makes an explicit (clear). Write a complete sentence (or two). Please do not use a question but instead, a declarative statement. Questions are often too broad. You need a well-developed claim.
Add in your reason and, perhaps, consider your claim.
If you have research, make note of where you might be able to reference particularly compelling proof in your thesis.
The thesis gives your paper forward motion - it’s your paper’s engine. No thesis, no forward motion (15 min)
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Forecasting your Paper in your Introduction
“First, I will define key terms for my argument, and then I will provide some background of the situation. Next, I will outline the important positions of the argument and explain why I support one of these positions. Lastly, I will consider opposing positions and discuss why these positions are outdated. I will conclude with some ideas for taking action and possible directions for future research.”
Your introduction should forecast how you will support your thesis by outlining the structure of your paper. You can even describe the sources you will consider, and the opposition to your position. This forecasting can be expressed in many different ways depending on the type or genre of paper you are writing. It could be as simple as this example from the Purdue Online Writing lab:
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This paper begins by providing key terms for the argument before providing background of the situation. Next, important positions are outlined and supported. To provide a more thorough explanation of these important positions, opposing positions are discussed. The paper concludes with some ideas for taking action and possible directions for future research.
Forecasting your Paper in your Introduction
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Or have a more formal, academic tone:
This paper begins by providing key terms for the argument before providing background of the situation. Next, important positions are outlined and supported. To provide a more thorough explanation of these important positions, opposing positions are discussed. The paper concludes with some ideas for taking action and possible directions for future research.
While these are general examples and provide absolutely no context to a real research argument, they do predict the organization of paper, providing what is called a pathway.
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Why is the following a solid thesis?
“My point here that Canadians should not self-identify based solely on their Aboriginal descent, should interest those who value accurate census data. Beyond this limited audience, however, my argument should speak to anyone who cares about the larger issue of respect for Indigenous peoples. In this essay I will explain that one who claims Aboriginal ancestry, does not therefore have the right to claim Indigeneity.”
Take one last look at the thesis example we used. See if you can identify the those elements that make this a successful thesis.
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Adding “So What?” and “Who Cares?”
Add in this template (change as much as you need to):
My point here (that __________) should interest those who ___________________. Beyond this limited audience, however, my point (argument, claim, assertion) should speak to anyone who care about the larger issue of __________________.
OR
Choose a template from the Prof Moment Lesson Five – The Thesis Statement on the CourseSpaces Site
Now you can try it yourself with your own essay topic. Here is a template based on our example. I am sure you will find very helpful. That’s all for now, until next time… stay healthy and keep in touch.
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WRITING THE THESIS STATEMENT
Special thanks to the Purdue OWL Staff
Brought to you in cooperation with the Purdue Online Writing Lab
Welcome to ‘Writing the Thesis Statement’, an action-packed adventure that will keep you on the edge of your seats!
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This presentation explains:
What a thesis statement is and does
What makes a successful thesis statement
How to go about writing a thesis statement Adapted from Karen Gocsik, Writing about World Literature (New York and London: Norton, 2012), ch. 5.
Overview
In this presentation we will go over:
What a thesis statement is and does
What makes a successful thesis statement
How to go about writing a thesis statement
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A thesis statement:
… is a sentence that articulates the central argument of your essay. It is the main take-away for your reader.
What a thesis statement is and does
A thesis statement is a sentence that articulates the central argument of your essay. It is the main take-away for your reader. It proves to your audience that you know and understand what you are going to tell them in the rest of the paper.
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… is where readers find the most succinct articulation of the argument.
Knowing the argument intimately will help readers understand the purpose of the paper.
It is important to craft the thesis statement in terms of genre of essay you are writing.
A thesis statement:
What a thesis statement is and does
It is important to develop an understanding about what the main point of your essay is and why it matters. By emphasizing the thesis statement, you reflect on the importance of your whole argument, which makes you intimately familiar with what you how to achieve.
The thesis statement is the place where readers find the most succinct articulation of the argument.
Knowing the argument from the beginning will help readers understand the purpose of the paper.
It is important to craft the thesis statement in terms of the genre, or specific type of essay you are writing
Are you writing a comparison paper that asks you to show similarities and differences between two different works?
Are you writing an analysis paper that asks you to explore an image or theme in a text and come to a conclusion about its significance?
Are you writing a research paper, (see what I did there) demonstrating the relationship between a text and its political, cultural, or social environment?
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Ask yourself: Why should the reader care about what I am writing?
… is written for the reader’s point of view.
A thesis statement:
What a thesis statement is and does
A good thesis statement is written with the reader’s point of view in mind. I don’t mean it is written with the writer as the protagonist. I mean that a good thesis statement anticipates the questions a reader will ask if they were face-to-face with you.
You need to ask yourself some tough questions. Am I explaining myself clearly? Is what I am saying a succinct description of my arguments? In sort, why should the reader care about what I am writing?
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The Bad: “The excessive drinking of alcohol is bad.”
What’s wrong: Too broad. Needs the specific detriments of alcohol consumption to discuss.
What a thesis statement is and does
Let’s take a look at some examples of Good and Bad thesis statements.
Not a thesis statement: “The excessive drinking of alcohol is bad.”
Why: This is too broad. What are the specific detriments of alcohol consumption that you would like to discuss? This is one of those… ‘well, duh!’ type of statements. For the most part people know this, even those who may drink excessively, although they may not believe it applies to them.
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The Good: “High levels of alcohol consumption have detrimental effects on one’s personal health, such as weight gain, heart disease, and liver complications.”
What’s good: Very specific reasons. Cover the major reasons you wish to discuss
What a thesis statement is and does
The Good. “High levels of alcohol consumption have detrimental effects on one’s personal health, such as weight gain, heart disease, and liver complications.”
So, what’s good about this thesis statement? This thesis statement is very specific about the reasons why excess alcohol is bad for you. In your thesis statement, you don't need to state every single detriment you're going to lay out (in fact, you shouldn't as it will risk becoming a run-on sentence) but you do need point to the main areas you will explore.
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The Bad: “Everyone should exercise.”
Answer the questions: Why should I? What’s in for me?
What’s wrong: Again, not specific enough. What do you say to a reader resistant to exercise.
What a thesis statement is and does
Bad: Everyone should exercise.
Why: This is another one of those… ‘well, duh!’ type of statements. Let’s imagine you audience or reader is someone who doesn’t want to exercise. What are you going to say, in a succinct, pithy thesis statement, that will hopefully convince that exercise is something they should consider. In other words: What should I? What’s in for me?
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The Good: “University students should add exercise to their daily routine because it helps maintain a healthy weight and reduces the risk of high blood pressure.”
What’s good: Very specific reasons. Covers the major reasons to be discussed.
What a thesis statement is and does
Good: University students should add exercise to their daily routine because it helps maintain a healthy weight and reduces the risk of high blood pressure.
Why good: Again… Here, is very specific. Not just “everybody… but specifically university students, daily routine (exercise is need not just two three times a week), weight maintenance, and high blood pressure prevention. Because these are the specific point you are covering, you now don’t have to research exercise in children or the elderly, or the effect of exercise on a person’s psyche or arthritis. Those are all important consideration, but outside the scope of the area of the thesis statement. Your research actually becomes easier when you have very specific objectives.
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The Bad: “The internet has improved the lives of many.”
Answer the questions: Why should I? What’s in for me?
What’s wrong: Duh statement! Not specific enough. Readers may agree with this and your statement may be true, but why should I as your reader care about this?
What a thesis statement is and does
One last example –
Bad: “The internet has improved the lives of many.”
What’s wrong with I’m just going to come out and say it… duh! Readers may agree with this and your statement may be true, but why should I as your reader care about this? "What's in it for me?" test. Why should readers care?” How has the internet improved people's lives?
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The Good: “The internet is a means of communication that expediently connects people across the globe, fosters new friendships and promotes the exchange of ideas that wouldn't have occurred prior to its inception.”
What’s good: Very specific reasons. Covers the major reasons to be discussed.
What a thesis statement is and does
The Good: “The internet expediently connects people across the globe, fosters new friendships and promotes the exchange of ideas that wouldn't have occurred prior to its inception.”
Notice how this thesis statement combines a complex idea in to a succinct sentence. We all know that the internet offers a host of benefits (and detriments), this thesis statement in on the internet’s ability to foster new friendships and exchange ideas. Those are the areas to study… not medical information or political views… but fostering new friendships and exchange of ideas. Also, these is a further narrowing of the scope of the thesis by proving how this couldn't have happened prior to the internet's inception - and that is good. A tight focus of the thesis means research that is more specific and a better paper.
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A thesis statement should express only one idea toward one topic; if a thesis statement contains two or more ideas, the essay runs the risk of lacking unity and coherence.
What makes a successful thesis statement?
Now, let’s think about What makes a successful thesis statement. Well, A thesis statement should express only one idea toward one topic; if you include two or more ideas in your thesis statement, the paper runs the risk of lacking unity and coherence because you are trying to answer too many question too much information.
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Thesis statement: It is necessary to national development to have a wide variety of highly skilled writers.
Not a thesis statement: It is necessary to national development to have a wide variety of writers and most writers are highly skilled.
What makes a successful thesis statement?
Here is an example: Not a thesis statement: It is necessary to national development to have a wide variety of writers and most writers are highly skilled.
Not only would the writer be forced to investigate the benefits a wide verity of writers would have on national development… a second line of investigation is necessary to determine if most writers are highly skilled. Neither of these ideas is necessary to be prove or add support to the other.
Thesis statement: It is necessary to national development to have a wide variety of highly skilled writers.
Here the “highly skilled” supports the first idea that it is necessary to national development. Dropping the qualifier “most” eliminates a second line of research.
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“A good thesis statement makes a claim” (Gocsik 75).
A good thesis statement is arguable.
What makes a successful thesis statement?
A thesis statement should express only one idea toward one topic.
A good thesis statement signals the argument’s scope and structure.
In addition to expressing only one idea toward one topic,
…a good thesis statement also makes a claim” (Gocsik 75).
…is arguable.
…signals the argument’s scope and structure.
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First, identify your topic.
How to go about writing your thesis
Finally, compose a thesis that answers the question.
Next, develop a question about that topic and gather relevant evidence.
So, how do you go about writing your thesis?
First, identify your topic.
Next, develop a question about that topic and gather relevant evidence.
Finally, compose a thesis that answers the question.
Let’s take a look at how a couple of experts deal with a thesis statement
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I want to discuss how the internet has changed things.
Ok, that’s pretty broad. What things?
People can connect to each other.
What about connecting with each other?
It’s easier to make friends and share ideas than before.
Before what?
Before the internet existed.
So, put all that into a question.
How to go about writing your thesis
Let’s say, “I want to discuss how the internet has changed things.”
-Ok, that’s pretty broad. What things?
People can connect to each other.
-What about connecting with each other?
It’s easier than before.
-before what?
The internet existed.
-So, put all that into a question.
16
Does the internet connect people to form new friendships and exchange ideas in a way that didn’t happen before the internet existed?
Now answer that question!
The internet is a means of communication that expediently connects people across the globe, fosters new friendships and promotes the exchange of ideas that wouldn't have occurred prior to its inception.
How to go about writing your thesis
Does the internet connect people to form new friendships and exchange ideas in a way that didn’t happen before the internet existed?
-Now answer that question
The internet is a means of communication that expediently connects people across the globe, fosters new friendships and promotes the exchange of ideas that wouldn't have occurred prior to its inception.
17
That’s your thesis statement!
How to go about writing your thesis
That’s your thesis statement!
18
“Although many people think ____, in reality, ____ because ____.”
“_____ is the most significant _____ because _____.”
“______ illuminates the role of ______ in people’s lives by showing us how _______, _____, and _____.”
Use a fill-in-the-blank sentence.
If you having some difficulty in just phrasing your thesis statement, here are a few statement templates you can use to structure your thesis.
“Although many reasons have been suggested for _____, they all boil down to _____.”
“_____ is true for these reasons: _____, _____, _____, and _____.
“X has argued that _____, but Y’s position is stronger because _____.”
“The more important effects of _____ went beyond those of _____.”
More fill-in-the-blanks
Here are some more. Keep in mind these are just to help you get started and organize your thoughts. More than likely you will need to expand upon these suggestions.
That’s all for thesis statements, until next time… stay healthy and keep in touch.
WORKS CITED
Gocsik, K. and Kirschen, R., 2012. Writing About World Literature. New York: W.W. Norton & Co.
21
Introduction and Thesis
Value: 10%
Peer review date: TUESDAY, AUGUST 4, by 11:55 PM (23:55) PDT, with a 12-HOUR GRACE PERIOD
Final Submission date: FRIDAY, AUGUST 7 by 11:55 PM (23:55) PDT, with a 24-hour grace period.
Word Count: Approximately 300 words with a brief outline of your major arguments
Here is where you get the chance to start writing a key part of your paper. No matter what type of academic writing you are performing, an introduction is crucial, and you will often be called upon to draft a preliminary thesis.
What to do for the Introduction and Thesis
For most of you, your introduction will be one paragraph that includes your thesis statement. We’ll go over in some detail possible structures for introduction paragraphs, but, generally, they include an introductory sentence that sums up your topic; a roadmap or outline of what you’ll be doing in your paper (your proposal will probably form the basis of this roadmap), and your thesis. Ideally, your introduction also catches your intended audience’s attention and suggests why your topic is worthy of discussion. Please note that you will need to keep revising your introduction and thesis up until submission – they are difficult to write and tend to change shape as the project evolves.
A thesis clearly states your position on your topic. Where a topic is general and includes lots of different perspectives (for example, if you chose “decorating cookies” as your topic), a thesis makes an argument or claim about that topic (for example, “Buttercream icing should be used for soft cookies, while royal icing should be used for hard cookies”). A strong thesis is debatable; in other words, a thesis needs to make a claim that someone could reasonably disagree with. (For example, I couldn’t really disagree with cookie decorations as a topic, but I could disagree with your thesis and say that buttercream is best for hard cookies.) We will spend lots of time discussing thesis statements and revising your thesis statements. For now, your thesis will help to guide decisions not only about how to persuade your intended audience but also how to address those who disagree with your position. (Of course, evidence will also be crucial in this regard.)
What to do for the Outline
Your outline for the entire paper may be drafted before or after you write your introduction and thesis. In whatever order you create the outline, you need to follow these steps:
1. You need to determine the purpose of your paper and the audience.
2. Then you need to figure out your preliminary (draft) thesis. (You will do so in Practice Assignment 4 in Week Five so this shouldn’t be a problem.)
3. Finally, you need to figure out how you will organize your outline. In order to do so, please visit the Owl Purdue “Type of Outlines” site so you can determine an appropriate structure.
Your outline must include the following elements:
· 2 or 3 major arguments that relate to your thesis;
· An overview of the evidence you will use to support your arguments.
You can also include any other elements (such as explanations, quotations) that you might help you to organize your thoughts and, therefore, make writing your Research Paper (and any major project or paper in any other class) easier.
Assignment Completion Checklist
*Note: these are the things I’m looking for when I grade your assignments
· Your name is on the assignment and in the document title when you save it
Introduction Paragraph
· Written in formal academic prose. (Grammar and writing style count here.)
· Includes an introductory statement, a roadmap (that shows the development of your argument), and a thesis statement
· Is approximately 200-300 words
Thesis Statement
· One or more sentences that clearly state your position on your topic. (Your thesis will likely be the final sentence or two of your introduction paragraph.)
· The position presented by your thesis one that a reasonable reader could potentially disagree with.
· The thesis can be supported by evidence.
Outline
· You include an outline of your paper in an easy to follow format.
· That outline includes 2 or 3 major argumentative points that relate to your thesis.
· The outline also summarizes and/or describes available evidence that supports these argumentative points.
The Marking Rubric for all AWR assignments can be found here: https://www.uvic.ca/humanities/english/undergraduate/resources/firstyeargrading/index.php .
This is an explanation of how I am grading this assignment more specifically:
The A- range paper:
Content: An A-range Introduction and Thesis features a relevant and engaging introductory statement that catches the reader’s attention both in terms of its clarity and its ability to capture the overall topic of the paper; a roadmap that clearly indicates the main points to be covered and how the argument will develop over the course of the paper; and a thesis statement (which can be one or more sentences as needed). The thesis statement offers a clear, concise, debatable, and supportable position on the topic. The outline clearly maps the paper’s trajectory. The assignment’s strengths greatly outweigh its weaknesses.
Writing: The assignment is written in clear academic prose that is coherent and pleasurable to read. The writing does not impede reading but facilitates reading.
The B-range paper:
Content: A B-range Introduction and Thesis has a relevant introductory statement that both catches the reader’s attention and summarizes the topic; a roadmap that indicates the main points to be covered and how the argument will develop over the course of the paper, and a thesis statement. The thesis statement offers a concise, conceivably debatable, and reasonably supportable position on the topic. The outline maps the paper’s trajectory. Strengths clearly outweigh weaknesses, but there are notable opportunities for improvement.
Writing: The assignment is written in clear academic prose that contains few grammatical errors.
The C-range paper:
Content: A C-range Introduction and Thesis has an introductory statement that attempts to catch the reader’s attention and summarize the topic; a roadmap that indicates the main points to be covered and how the argument will develop over the course of the paper; and a functional thesis statement; the thesis statement offers a conceivably debatable position on the topic. The outline maps the paper’s trajectory but seems to be missing elements. Both strengths and weaknesses are evident, but strengths still outweigh weaknesses. There are many ways in which this assignment could be improved.
Writing: The assignment is written in academic prose, but may contain grammatical errors. The writing may, at times, be difficult to understand.
The D-range paper:
Content: A D-range Introduction and Thesis starts with information relevant to the topic, but may not include a clear introductory statement or a logical road map; it does contain a thesis statement, but that thesis statement may be unclear or difficult to locate within the paragraph. The thesis statement offers a position on the topic, but it might be inappropriately obvious or too convoluted to understand. The position might be impossible to support. The assignment may go off topic. The outline is difficult to follow. Strengths and weaknesses are approximately even. Needed improvements are numerous and obvious.
Writing: The assignment is written in full sentences but contains grammatical errors that impact readability. The writing is sometimes difficult to understand. This assignment might rely too heavily on slang or unnecessary jargon (discipline-specific language that is usually unfamiliar to people outside of the discipline) for it to be understandable, or it might use overly formal language that impedes readability.
* If your assignment receives a D, please come and talk to me during Office Hours, or set up an appointment, so that we can create a plan for your next assignment or discuss the possibility of you rewriting and resubmitting this assignment.
The F-range paper:
Content: An F-range Introduction and Thesis may not be written in paragraph form, or it might contain information inappropriate for an introduction paragraph. The thesis statement, if it’s there at all, is overly obvious or too convoluted to understand. It might merely describe a topic, make a statement with which no one could disagree, or lay out an unsupportable claim. The assignment often goes off topic and includes material unrelated to the topic. The outline may be missing or be missing major elements. Likely, the assignment guidelines were not followed. Weaknesses outweigh strengths.
Writing: The assignment is difficult to understand and contains grammatical errors are an obstacle to readability.
* If your assignment receives an F, please come and talk to me during Office Hours, or set up an appointment, so that we can create a plan for your next assignment or discuss the possibility of you rewriting and resubmitting this assignment..
Introduction and Thesis
Value:
10%
Peer review date
:
TUESDAY
, AUGUST
4
,
by 11:55 PM (23:55) PDT
,
with
a
12
-
HOUR
GRACE PERIOD
Final Submission date:
F
RIDAY
,
AUGUST
7
by
11:55 PM (23:55) PDT, with a 24
-
hour grace
period.
Word Count:
Approximately 300 words
with a brief outline of your major arguments
Here is where you get the chance to start writing a
key
part of your paper
.
No matter what type
of academic writing you are performing, an introduction is crucial
,
and
you will
often
be called
upon to draft
a
preliminary
thesis.
What to do for the Introd
uction and Thesis
For most of you, your introduction will be one paragraph that includes your thesis statement.
We’ll go over
in some detail
possible structures for introduction paragraphs, but,
generally, they
include an introductory sentence that sum
s up
your topic;
a roadmap or outline of what you’ll be
doing i
n your paper (your proposal
will probably form the basis of this roadmap
)
, and your
thesis.
Ideally, your introduction also catches your intended audience’s attention and suggests
why your topic is worthy of discussion.
Please note that you will need to
keep revising your
introduction and thesis up until submission
–
they are difficult to write a
nd tend to change shape
as the project evolves.
A the
sis c
learly states your position on
your topic. Where a topic is general and i
ncludes lots of
different perspectives (for example,
if
you
chose “decorating cookies” as your topic), a thesis
makes an arg
ument or claim about that topic (for example, “
B
uttercream icing should be used for
soft cookies, while royal icing should be used for hard cookies”). A strong thesis is debatable; in
other words, a thesis
needs to make
a claim that someone could
reasonabl
y
disagree with
.
(
F
or
example, I couldn’t really disagree with cookie decorations as a topic, but I could disagree with
your thesis and say that buttercream is best for hard cookies
.
) We will spend lots of time
discussing thesis statements and revising you
r thesis statements.
For now, your thesis will help to
guide decisions
not only
about how to
persuade your intended audience but also
how to
address
those who disagree with your position.
(
Of course, evi
dence
will also be
crucial in this regard
.
)
What to
do for the
O
utline
Your outline for the entire paper may be drafted
before
or after
you write your introduction and
thesis
.
In
whatever order you create the outline, you need to follow these steps:
1.
You need to determine the purpose of your paper and the audience
.
2.
Then you need to figure out your preliminary (draft) thesis
.
(
Y
ou will do so in Practice
Assignment 4 in Week Five so
this shouldn’t be a problem
.
)
Introduction and Thesis
Value: 10%
Peer review date: TUESDAY, AUGUST 4, by 11:55 PM (23:55) PDT, with a 12-HOUR
GRACE PERIOD
Final Submission date: FRIDAY, AUGUST 7 by 11:55 PM (23:55) PDT, with a 24-hour grace
period.
Word Count: Approximately 300 words with a brief outline of your major arguments
Here is where you get the chance to start writing a key part of your paper. No matter what type
of academic writing you are performing, an introduction is crucial, and you will often be called
upon to draft a preliminary thesis.
What to do for the Introduction and Thesis
For most of you, your introduction will be one paragraph that includes your thesis statement.
We’ll go over in some detail possible structures for introduction paragraphs, but, generally, they
include an introductory sentence that sums up your topic; a roadmap or outline of what you’ll be
doing in your paper (your proposal will probably form the basis of this roadmap), and your
thesis. Ideally, your introduction also catches your intended audience’s attention and suggests
why your topic is worthy of discussion. Please note that you will need to keep revising your
introduction and thesis up until submission – they are difficult to write and tend to change shape
as the project evolves.
A thesis clearly states your position on your topic. Where a topic is general and includes lots of
different perspectives (for example, if you chose “decorating cookies” as your topic), a thesis
makes an argument or claim about that topic (for example, “Buttercream icing should be used for
soft cookies, while royal icing should be used for hard cookies”). A strong thesis is debatable; in
other words, a thesis needs to make a claim that someone could reasonably disagree with. (For
example, I couldn’t really disagree with cookie decorations as a topic, but I could disagree with
your thesis and say that buttercream is best for hard cookies.) We will spend lots of time
discussing thesis statements and revising your thesis statements. For now, your thesis will help to
guide decisions not only about how to persuade your intended audience but also how to address
those who disagree with your position. (Of course, evidence will also be crucial in this regard.)
What to do for the Outline
Your outline for the entire paper may be drafted before or after you write your introduction and
thesis. In whatever order you create the outline, you need to follow these steps:
1. You need to determine the purpose of your paper and the audience.
2. Then you need to figure out your preliminary (draft) thesis. (You will do so in Practice
Assignment 4 in Week Five so this shouldn’t be a problem.)
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